Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Wanton Wednesday - I'll suck yours if you suck mine!

This week's W.W. is a little more explicit that previous entries! My husband and I had an insanely good time trying out my new strap-on. He does love to suck my cock so very much.

Clicky click to see the other lovely wanton people!!

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Forced Processing

courtesy of tumblr

I am going to apologise in advance for this post. I have been mulling so many things over for the last few weeks I just need to get them out so I can process them properly.

I have been struggling with depression and an anxiety disorder for many years now. Sometimes it seems to fade into the background for months at a time, leading me to believe I have finally gotten over it all. Alas they usually return with a vengeance when I lease expect it.

I think the depression started first, it kicked in when I was about 16. At the age I had my first major betrayal when I discovered my best friend had been using me for years and never really wanted to hang out with me in the first place. Thus began the first niggles self doubt and loathing.

Now everyone has these feelings of inadequacy every now and then but mine came into full force when I started studying for my 7th grade violet exam. Previously I had always been awarded High Distinctions and so my internal voice decided to inform me that unless I continued to get this insanely high results I was a complete and utter failure. Sadly these new, more intense thoughts turned my mild teenage depression into a full blown anxiety disorder coupled with relatively extreme self harm.

Fast forward 5 or 6 years. I was now having panic/anxiety attacks every night which I coped with by self harming and abusing pain killers. There were several suicide attempts and a complete disregard for my own health and safety. I'm surprised I didn't contract any diseases or get raped. Then I met Ross, I just added him one day from a alternate social networking website, little did I know he would one day be my husband! As my online relationship progressed and became very committed I felt compelled to reveal my secret side to my mother.

She did not react in the best way, and essentially made me feel worse about what I had been doing. I begged her to help me find some help, which she did. The counseling definitely helped and has given me some great coping skills. But the depression never really left, and I still find myself reaching for a blade when I just can't seem to turn my mind off.

I don't like that I constantly berate myself, feeling like a failure when I know I have so much! It just feels like every time I am feeling much better something happens. Either of my own accidental doing or something is said by a so called friend that pulls me down lower than I was before. Why can't I win and just be content? I don't have to like myself, I would be happy with not hating. I just don't seem to be able to win, lack of sleep is definitely not helping, but it seems so hard to overcome all of this right now. I just want to feel free and not care what others think or say about/to me instead of just pretending.

For my husband and daughter I won't give up yet. Maybe the day will come soon where all will be better, when all these issues of mine will be gone for good.

Monday, 19 September 2011

A to Z of me!!

A. AGE: 26

B. BED SIZE: Queen!

C. CHORE THAT YOU HATE: Vacuuming!! I hates it with a vengeance and it makes my back ache

D. DOGS: I love them but currently we have no puppies



G. GOLD OR SILVER: Most definitely silver

H. HEIGHT: about 5'6" I think

I. INSTRUMENTS THAT YOU PLAY: I have been playing violin since I was 7! I have also played piano and double bass in the past.

J. JOB TITLE: Private violin teacher

K. KIDS: One gorgeous little girl

L. LIVE: In Sydney with my husband and daughter


N. NICKNAMES: Bubbles...don't ask

O. OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS:  not a huge amount...maybe 3 or 4

P. PET PEEVES: Incorrect use of grammar!! Also leaving empty containers around the house

Q. QUOTE FROM A MOVIE: Hello my name is Ingo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die...


S. SIBLINGS: One younger sister

T. TIME YOU WAKE UP: Whenever my daughter wakes me up

U. UNDERWEAR: Sometimes

V. VEGETABLE YOU HATE: Eggplant! Ew ew ew ew ew!!


X. X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Um quite a few... at least 10

Y. YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE: According to my husband I make 'many yummy foods'

Z. ZOO ANIMAL: Tapir!!!!

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

New Toys - LELO Luna Beads!

My latest purchase from [Adultshop Australia] was LELO's Luna Pleasure Bead System. I have always liked the idea of buying some form of strengthening device for my PC muscles, so after asking all my wonderful twitter friends what they recommended I bit the bullet and bought the most expensive and most beautiful pair of orgasm balls on the website. I waited with baited breath for them to arrive the next morning (woohoo Australian Express Post!). When they arrived I was in the process of driving to my parents house so sadly I couldn't try them out instantly. Feeling cheeky I decided to try them out at my parents house. I read the instructions carefully and chose the lightest set (pink), after applying a very small amount of the included lube and a bit of a wriggle they were in place. They were comfortable but I was definitely very aware of them. Then I decided to take them for a test walk about, thats when the jiggling began. Oh my goodness it is such a delightful sensation! Trying not to giggle I wandered around the garden enjoying the sunshine and subtle jiggly feeling deep inside me. Now I have to say I didn't really think I was getting much of a workout while wearing these, I will definitely be upgrading to the heavier beads (blue) next time, I did get the odd massive clench feeling but it was definitely not what I was expecting. However after I removed them (I wore them for about an hour) my PC muscles had most definitely had a very good workout! I felt the (not unpleasant) tiredness/tightness after effects for about 30-45 mins after I had removed the beads. All in all I would most definitely recommend the splurge for these very stylish, comfortable orgasm beads.

Wanton Wednesday - Feeling Adventurous

As I got out of the bath earlier this evening I suddenly remembered I haven't done a W.W. post for ages! Feeling a little more adventurous than usual I added a picture of my legs and backside (*eep*)!

So here is my new hair and a slightly red bottom from sitting in the tub with my daughter *chuckles*. I hope you all enjoy!

Click below to see other wanton lovelies!!

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Need & Desire

Pic courtesy of tumblr 

Whilst lying in bed last night my thoughts turned to sex. Well more specifically to foreplay and teasing. Now usually I'm the kinda girl that does't need much, when I'm horny I want a cock inside me straight away with minimal teasing. Since my daughter was born it has become increasingly difficult to find any time alone with my husband, let alone having enough time to actually have any foreplay before the 'main event'. This has changed my desire for being teased, now its all I can think of! I want to be tormented until I can't take it anymore, to be denied, held down, made to writhe and wriggle, feeling the need of release building and building. To be made to beg for release.

And by teasing I mean not going straight for the obvious zones (nipples, clit, pussy etc), I need someone to find all the little spots that drive me wild wanting the other more sensitive areas to be touched, to be stroked and licked and bitten. Oh god how I need to be teased, to be driven wild with lust and want! Then, made to cum over and over again with a varying collection of toys. Still making me wait to be filled with a beautiful cock, making my body scream, wanting to feel the twitching warmth inside me...

This is what I need, what I desire.

Monday, 12 September 2011

e[Lust] #29

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #30? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Evidence To The Contrary - If anyone out there ever tries to tell you that internet relationships and friendships are not real, point them in my direction and I will happily set them straight on the matter because I have proof, in fact I am proof, that they know not what they speak of.

Open Marriages Don't Work....- The only way I would agree with that statement is if you add: .....if you're marriage already has problems. But even that part is not universally true.

Love in the Age of Broadband - What happened to our ability to keep it casual? Why would we attach ourselves to someone who is (often) hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away? And, more to the point, why would we attach ourselves to someone we have never met?

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Ask Lilly – Open and Polyamorous: Why be married at all?

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

My apologies, everyone, since submissions closed I've been 100% consumed with personal family tragedy (the flooding in Central PA) so I didn't have time to read most of the entries this time or find a photo. The html code might contain a lot of blank lines for some of you, I didn't have time to "clean" it up, either, just throw up what I have.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Ask Aunty Dee: Dental Dams
born this way...
Clit Truth
Condoms and Size
Lies & Infidelities
Misguided Dominance
Poly Language
Return to Decadence
Step Inside My Head
Who was the first person you told..
When Bad Things Happen To Good People – Warning Bells

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

To Be Out Or Not To Be Out
Want Sado-Erotic Horror Movies? Yes please! Films by Matthew Saliba
What I've Learned From E[Lust]

Kink & Fetish

A Much Needed Distraction
Another drink?
Facing Fear
Negotiation Win

Erotic Writing

As Long As It Lasts
Asking For It
Blow Job
Debra's Gift
June’s Caning
Please, Please, Please, Sir
Showers and Strawberries
The Visitor
The Play Fight